Do you believe in it?
I do. I cannot say that I always have. But, I do now. More than ever.
Have you ever suffered from a broken heart? Have you ever broken someone's heart? I currently have a broken heart. Whoever does not believe in karma, let me tell you firsthand that it is real- more real that you can ever imagine! I've come to believe that part of the reason why I am going through this is because of the bad things that I have done to others. They were never intended to be evil, but, the fact that bad thoughts or bad wishes cloud one's mind, is enough for that person's aura to go south. And that, I will not deny. In times of pain and suffering, we often look for someone to point the finger at. 'So and so' is the reason why this happened.
No. That is not true.
Only you can control your destiny.
One of the greatest gifts that we possess is our free will.
Things happen to us because of things that we do.
I learned that the hard way.
If we ever at any point in life felt that 'so and so' was not a good person for us to be around and we even told ourselves not to continue such relationship, but in fact did the very opposite, then, if things went didn't go as planned is not the fault of others, but our very own.
More often than not, I looked for others to point the finger at. But, I have finally and thankfully, come to realize, that only I am in control of my precious life. Not anyone else. I also have to learn to live in the very present. Reminding myself of that is a constant battle. I must live in the present. Not in yesterday's sorrows or joys, not on planning tomorrow's happiness. Only and absolutely only in the present-- because that is the only moment that counts. Right now. What you do now will affect the next second of your life. If you want a bright future, you must throw all of your positive energy into what you do now. All that you do now, will affect your future.
So, if you want a bright future-- start doing bright things. Be kind to yourself, but most importantly, be kind to others. Forgive people whom have hurt you.
This past month, I have done a lot of self-evaluation. On my direction toward life. I'd been reminiscing of the future I pictured myself to have when I was a young girl, and ultimately comparing it to where I am now. They are no where up to par with each other.
Far too many times in my life, I have been self destructive because I did not feel loved. I thought I was doing myself a 'favor' but, in reality, I was hurting not only those who love and care about me, but myself.
Alas, since the very beginning of this month, I have a new-found perspective on life. It hardly has anything to do with fashion. Now, that isn't to say that I will be keen on wearing rags and the same pair of shoes year round, but, I am finally shifting gears and switching lanes. I have met so many great people via this very blog and I feel extremely fortunate to be in the position that I am today.
Because of a lot of other very sensitive issues arising in my personal life, posting has slowed down, but, I am still here. The store will still be going up, as soon as things get loaded onto the site and everything gets sold.
Meanwhile, I am trying to find the purpose to my life. I can happily say that not a pair of pants, a fancy skirt, a structured blazer, or a pair of shoes can and will ever define my life. For now, the only thing that I can say when I started this blog 3 years ago, I named this blog Fashion Is Poison, for a reason. I will explain it on the autobiography/self-help book that I will be working on for the rest of this year.
This is Bryce Canyon. Back when I was in college, I decided to take an Anthropology combined with a Humanities class during the my Sophomore summer. I knew that the experience would be amazing (and I was right), and I would get 5 units in 30 days. I met Native Americans that live in ways that I'd only seen on the Discovery Channel or read about in my history books. I am so glad that I went on the trip because my professor had been doing it for over 20 years and the class that I took, was the last one that he'd ever do again because of budget cuts. I was so fortunate to have been able to be in his last class.
The course entailed taking a 30 day camping trip to North and South Dakota, Arizona, Colorado, Utah, New Mexico, Wyoming, Montana, and Oregon. It was my first time camping, and boy, was it an experience that I will never ever forget! We cooked with camping stoves.
This very picture, inspires me to take my mind to another place. A peaceful, serene, beautiful world that awaits for me to uncover. I long to find peace with myself, to continue to grow every day with my loved ones, and to find the man of my dreams and eventually have a family together. I know that everything is being worked on for me right now. I have strong faith in it.